Sha-poopi
by JockShipper
Summary: Lightning Anderson gets revenge on the supposed "MVP" of his football team, Clark Garcia.


**You guys know when you have an idea in your head, but you don't do anything about it, so you can't stop thinking about it? Yeah, well that's what happened here. And it happens to me a lot, so you'll be getting a lot of these crazy one-shots.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Total Drama or any of its characters. The song is from Family Guy, Season 4, episode 20: "Patriot Games."**

**I just changed "shipoopi" to "sha-poopi" and there ya go! I also changed a few other words though. **

* * *

Lightning Anderson walked along the fence of the school with his friend since kindergarten, DJ Harris, and the MVP of the football team, Clark Garcia. Lightning never liked Clark; he thought he was a show-off, even though Lightning was clearly better than him at anything and everything that involves the game. Lightning told him this once, and that's when he decided to go out with his crush, Anne Maria Hayes, one of the cheerleaders for Wawanakwa High. She walked up to him and gave him a kiss on the cheek.

"Hey baby," she greeted him. From behind them, Lightning rolled his eyes whilst DJ stood uncomfortably. He knew Lightning hated Clark; but both of them were his friends, and they agreed to _at least_ ignore each other when they were around him.

"Well hey there sweetheart." Clark replied as he smirked and pulled Anne in for a kiss, which quickly escalated into a make-out session. Clark knew Lightning still had a thing for her, and that's one of the main reasons they're always making out around him. Though Anne didn't seem to mind. Lightning clenched his fists and growled silently; well, he thought it was silent but DJ heard it loud and clear.

"Uh, Clark, we'll catch up with you later… see ya before the game." Clark payed them no mind, his lips still on Anne. DJ didn't hesitate and dragged Lightning away before the jock could say something he would later regret. When they we're out of speaking range, Lightning blew up in a fit of rage.

"UGH! I sha-hate that guy! Lightning knows that he only does that to piss him off."

"Well, maybe you're always just around at the wrong times? Lightning, Clark's a good guy. You guys should find some common ground to stand on."

"The only common ground we have is that we _both_ know he's an ass. DJ, _dude_, he _knows_ what he's doing. He does this on sha-purpose!"

"I'm sure that's not true, Lightning. You're over exaggerating again. Remember when you said you'd ignore him?" He waited a few seconds as Lightning frowned. "Well, you weren't doing a very good job back there."

"Don't remind me, man." Lightning grit his teeth, and they continued to walk to the rest of the team in silence. They were practicing some plays before the game. It was about 10 minutes before Clark showed up.

"Hey, Anderson, no showboating this time, alright?" Clark walked up to him and Tyler Mckinney, chuckling.

"Whatever, Clark." Lightning growled as Clark raised an amused eyebrow.

"Oh, is someone upset over Anne and I?" He then doubled over in laughter as Tyler sidestepped away. He knew about their rivalry too. Almost everyone on the team did.

"Sha-nope. I just don't like you."

"Well get over it. Cause I'm gonna be here for a while. Until I get my scholarship, that is." Lightning rolled his eyes. Arrogant much? He just walked away and started to get ready.

* * *

"Sha-yes!" Lightning said as he was running, his voice being muffled by his mouthpiece. There was ten yards that separated him from the goal line, and the other team's players fell behind a few yards back, unable to keep up with him.

As he crossed the goal line he smirked, seeing Clark's face from afar. He thought about something and his smirk got wider as a result. Isn't this the best time for payback? He threw the ball towards the ground and started moonwalking. "Sha-yeah! Touchdown!"

Clark screamed at him from his place, about 15 yards away. "Damnit Anderson! I said no showboating!"

Lightning ignored Clark's message as he ran towards the bleachers. He fist-pumped and yelled "This calls for a sha-victory tune!"

Music started to play and Lightning did a little dance as he started to sing:

"_Now a woman who'll kiss on the very first date is usually a hussy_

_And a woman who'll kiss on the second time out is anything but fussy_

_But a woman who'll wait till the third time around_

_Head in the clouds, sha-feet on the ground_

_She's the girl he's sha-glad he's found_

_She's his Sha-poopi."_

The crowd stared at him as he continued dancing and singing. The football players were slack-jawed in surprise.

"_Sha-poopi, Sha-poopi, Sha-poopi"_ he continued as the crowd joined in: _"The girl who's hard to get!"_

"_Sha-poopi, Sha-poopi, Sha-poopi"_ This time the cheerleaders joined, standing around Lightning as stood there and grinned: _"But you can win her yet!"_

Lightning circled around a cheerleader enjoying his song, Lindsay Thomas, and then made a beeline for a dancing Anne Maria as he sang:

"_Walk her once just to raise the curtain_

_Sha-walk around twice and you've made for certain_

_Once more in the flower garden_

_She will never get sore if you beg her pardon"_

Lightning dashed over to the brick wall separating the field from the crowd and hopped on it. He turned to the crowd and beckoned for them to sing, them raising up out of their seats as they began, and ending in their seats as they finished. Everyone in the crowd was in on it, even some of the meanest people: Jo Hendrix, Eva Morrison, and Scott Pollard; along with some of the most sophisticated and mature: Dawn Winters, Noah Tanner and Courtney Martinez.

"_Do re me fa so la si, do si la sol fa mi re do"_

He continued to jig happily on the brick wall, enjoying the cross look on Clark's face as he sang his next verse.

"_Squeeze her once when she isn't lookin'_

_If you get a squeeze back, that's sha-fancy cookin'_

_Once more for a pepper-upper_

_She will never get sore on her way to supper"_

The crowd repeated their actions from before as Lightning turned around and motioned for them to join in again.

"_Do re me fa sol la si do, si do"_

Lightning jumped off the wall and marched across a human wall of jumping cheerleaders.

"_Now little ol' Anne was Clark's gal, as anyone could see_

_Lookit her now, she's a go-gal, who sha-only goes for me"_

Clark's jaw almost hit the ground after hearing that. His pupils nearly disappeared as Lightning now had his hands on Anne, dancing with her in front of the rest of the cheer squad.

"_Squeeze her once when she isn't lookin'_

_If you get a squeeze back, that's sha-fancy cookin'_

_Once more for a pepper-upper_

_She will never get sore on her way to supper"_

The cheerleaders held up cards of the words as they and the crowd sang them.

"_Do re me fa sol la si do, si do"_

Lightning and Anne danced in front of each other, and giggling and laughing as Lightning sang:

"_Sha-poopi, Sha-poopi, Sha-poopi"_ the cheerleaders formed a pyramid as they and the crowd sang again: _"The girl who's hard to get!"_

"_Sha-poopi, Sha-poopi, Sha-poopi"_ everyone repeated their actions: _"But you can win her yet!"_

The marching band performed an instrumental in the middle of the field as Lightning danced with them, the cheerleaders dancing elsewhere. He side-stepped quickly in front of another human wall composed of cheerleaders, and at the end, started dancing once again. Lightning was having the time of his life! Heck, the football players were dancing too!

"No, NO!" Clark practically shook with rage. Oh, was Lightning loving this. DJ and Tyler were now beside him, all of them kicking their feet in the air.

Referees were throwing their flags and blowing their whistles in tune to the music, some of the football players doing the same, throwing their footballs and dancing in sync. Tyler's football, though, bounced back up and made harsh contact with his groin. A few moments later, all the cheerleaders, football players(except Tyler and Clark), referees, and members of the marching band were dancing, and Lightning and Anne Maria were hand in hand, dancing along with everyone else. Everyone in the area, except Clark, who was fuming and standing by himself ways away, and Tyler, who was still moaning in pain on the ground, helped Lightning finish his last verse:

"_Sha-poopi, Sha-poopi, Sha-poopi, the girl who's hard to get!"_

_Sha-poopi, Sha-poopi, Sha-poopi, but you can win her yet!_

_You can win her yet_

_Sha-poopi!"_

After getting one last glance at Clark, who was stomping away, Lightning chuckled to himself and said "Sha-alright! I made a touchdown!"

The rest of the football players threw him in the air chanting "MVP!"

* * *

**You guys don't know how much fun I had writing this. I hope you liked it!**

**~JockShipper~**


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